Dear John,
I am writing to tell you that I am not at all impressed with the fact that, yet again, I am being forced to endure your music in my rehearsals. Now, I know I can’t write music and therefore should not really ‘throw stones’, but I really do think you could have done better with your compositions. 0/10. “Must try MUCH harder”.
Until recently I did not particularly object to your music, having been (through choice, I may add) blissfully unaware of most of it, but events change and I am now being exposed, on a weekly basis, to the absolute disgusting drivel that is ‘Let’s Begin Again’. In all honesty, John, it would have been much better for all of us if you had never started, let alone beginning again. Sitting quietly in the front row and maintaining composure throughout the horrific drone which is your dreadfully unimaginative alto line is nothing short of abject torture. Not to mention the fact that my gender-confused cat writes better lyrics than yours on the wall of her litter tray.
Please accept this letter as a declaration of the abhorrence and repulsion I now feel whenever your name is mentioned. Please also note, Dearest John, that I shall be singing flat, sharp, and incredibly wrong (often at the same time!) until you repent this outrage and issue a decree banning all amateur groups from inflicting your miserable harmonies on their unsuspecting members.
Kindest Regards,
Kayleigh
The image of Reginald composing lyrics in her litter tray!! Love it!
ReplyDeleteOh Hollow! Hollow! Hollow!
ReplyDeleteBy Reginald the Cat.
I've never sung the piece to which you refer, but in my experience (Which consists entirely of Christmas carols) Rutter's music is pretty good actually. I'll grant you the alto parts aren't so great.
I'm politely outraged. What about Candlelight Carol? What about A Gaelic Blessing? What about For The Beauty Of The Earth?
ReplyDeleteRutter's like Mozart - he's only boring if you rehearse him, which you're not supposed to.
Were I not attending a music rehearsal for your Pinafore that I only found out about this morning, I would be tempted to go and find a Rutter's greatest hits album at HMV after work, to karmically cancel out your criticism of him.
You're not supposed to rehearse? So we'll just sight read when it comes to the concert, then?
ReplyDeleteKayleigh has merely expressed an opinion which, I've found over the last week, most people agree with.
With regards to the Pinafore dig, Kayleigh is not responsible for the orchestra rehearsals - that would be the MD. Figures, doesn't it?
Pipe down, Hazy!
Do I have to put ;-) after every comment I make? Yes, I know that singers rehearse, and yes, I know the musical director is responsible for directing the music, and Kayleigh is simply lucky to have such committed musicians.
ReplyDeleteLucky indeed
ReplyDeleteIt is true, I am - although if I was personally running the rehearsal you would have known in plenty of time ;)
ReplyDeleteFor the attention of the world at large: You may subject me to whatever Rutter you wish, but you will never change my mind about this particular song. It joins 'Seasons of Love' from RENT and 'For Now' from Avenue Q in the 'MOST HORRIFIC SONGS I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO SING AGAINST MY WILL' bin of my life! :)